Drowning Rain
by Niana Kuonji
Summary: This is a songfic that evolved from the piece strung through the actual story. What happens when a raincaller has their heart broken? OOC, a couple swearwords. Hiei and Kohaku


I don't own the Reikai tantei. But it's a nice thought.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Lost within a darkness of my own make…

Quiet footsteps are the only thing to be heard over the sounds of a rainstorm in the Makai Forest of Sorrows, a place that has seen cataclysmic fights and grief. From the dimness beneath the trees, a lone figure emerges, head down, arms wrapped around themselves to clutch at trembling shoulders. By the flat ears and sodden tail we can deduce that this is a wolf youkai, and as the delicate face is turned up to the rain, we recognize her as Kohaku Piers, a wolf descended from the Blood Moon and Blade-Arm packs. But why does she walk here? The territories claimed by either of her families are many, many miles away.

Walking over to a tree she leans back against it, sliding to the water-logged leaf-litter with a faint sob, her knees curling to her chest as she wraps her arms around her calves. "Of all the times to take a wrong turn," she whispers in self-mockery to the wet ground beyond her feet, bronzed eyes dull. "I really am stupid."

Don't know which way to go, which way to take…

She doesn't bother to get up yet; she's been walking for a few hours now in the downpour and has worn out even her almost inexhaustible energy. For a moment, she settles for sitting in the rain that hides her tears. She has yet to find her way out of the place-no matter which way she turns it seems the trail just brings her back to the same place. "Baka ookami," she growls faintly to herself.

The paths are all so knotted, so tangled, see?

"Some fighter," she mocks herself in earnest now, not bothering to wipe the tears from her face. "Some rain-dancer. Can't even control your own feelings to warm yourself up. He was right. I really am useless." She doesn't even know how she did it, but the reason she's here is because after two-and-a-half years she managed to spark Hiei's real ire against her. Purely by accident. One minute she'd been teasing him like always about being so closed up around other people, especially Yukina-chan, and the next he nearly blew up at her, literally.

_"You stupid, careless wolf! Don't you ever _think_ before opening your mouth? Why must you constantly bitch at me so? Just go away!"_ A hard flinch as the hot words lash her mind again, the tears falling harder as she buries her face in her knees. All of her painted finery-the glittery eyeshadow, the colorful streaks of dye, the dusting of glitter over her hair, face, and shoulders has long been washed away.

Without it, she doesn't seem like herself, and right now she certainly doesn't feel like herself.

Forgotten who I was and am to be.

"Kohaaaku!" Another flinch as her mind plays tricks on her some more, making her think she hears someone crying her name. Tired of being cold and wet, she shifts into her wolf form and huddles in a ball, warmer despite the water weighing down her coat.

Call my name…

Giving in to her grief, she uncurls from her ball of chocolate-brindle fur to tilt her head back, a long, disconsolate howl pouring from her throat in a drawn out sound that echoes through the forest. Even if she felt like going anywhere now, she doesn't dare-the storm has brought an early twilight with an increased downpour. To travel without knowing the trail would be deliberate suicide.

Can't see through the curtain of drowning rain…

She's really cold now. Numb, too, but that's a good thing. Numb is much more welcome than the pain that had been eating away her heart with every repetition of those angry, angry words. _"You stupid, careless wolf! Don't you ever _think_…? Just go away! Go away!"_

Frozen lips and fingers and frozen pain…

"Kohaaaku!" That wasn't her imagination. Someone is looking for her. But she doesn't want to be found. He told her to go away, fine, she's going away. Despite worn muscles and sore feet she rises, padding silently now across the soaked ground that washes her prints away as soon as she makes them. There won't be a trail of youki to follow; no wolf has had to use it to mark their way since she had made a wish at her first-so far only-Dark Tournament, freeing her kind from the curse of hopeless directional sense they'd shared.

She refuses to run. Her heart may be broken with her spirit, but she still has her pride of being a warrior of her clans. Anybody messes with her right now they're going to get a faceful of teeth and no questions asked.

Call my name…

"Kohaaaaku!" There. The voice is far enough away. She won't be found for a while. She happens upon a tiny cave barely big enough for her but dry, almost hidden by some low branches, and nobody home but a couple of mice that quickly take one look at the drenched, unhappy wolf and scamper for the back of the small space to what is obviously their bolt-hole. With a tired 'whuff' she staggers in, turns around so her muzzle points towards the exit just inches away, and flops down, watching the falling shadows beyond.

Sweet drowning rain…

Maybe she should just let herself catch pneumonia or something, or even just point her nose up into the near-waterfall pouring down in front of the exit and drown herself. At this point, it would be better than hearing him shout at her for the countless time.

_"What the hell convinced me to actually keep you from getting killed? You never look before you leap and I'm the one always saving your ass! You can't do anything for yourself, can you, you useless female? I'm tired of fixing your mistakes! Leave me alone!"_

"Baka kajihenge," she whispers to the water rushing past her stretched-out forepaws in a defeated voice. "You didn't even let me try to apologize. That look…I couldn't stand it. You looked like you really hated me. So I did what you told me. I went away." She hadn't even been able to so goodbye through the shock and pain that had slammed into her; she'd just whirled on her heel and leapt into her own personal portal, wanting only to be 'away' without a single preference as to where.

She'd landed here and had been trying to get herself to one of her families' dens ever since. Her portal, a gift from the ice-fox Aislin, only works between dimensions, and she can't face anyone in Human or Spirit World right now. Her kin had to know something was up by now; the other rain-callers would sense the shift in the weather pattern over here and would find that it was made by another rain-wolf. Whether they know this is her storm is a moot point; an unnatural tempest like this wouldn't last for so long if she was simply using her skills to fight something off. There. An imperious howl that sounds like her Blade-Arm cousin Far-singer comes from a few miles away-he must've heard her, too. No matter. The one she cares about the most doesn't love her anymore.

Thought that I could love you, I'm wrong, I know…

The howl sounds again, a firm summons for the wolf curled up in her hole wishing for him to go away like she'd been ordered to. But why? What had she said to make Hiei so angry? She hadn't _meant_ to, after all, because he's the most important person in her life. _"Stupid, careless wolf!"_ Grief nearly crushes her heart in a fresh contraction. Even if she escaped him, there's no escaping herself.

I'm all locked up inside with nowhere to go…

Ever since she'd first started spending time with him-first it was just training, but then she'd dragged him off to Childe Demon-she'd delighted in peeling away all the things that hid the real Hiei from her. He still has more emotional and mental walls than anyone else she's ever met. And she'd found someone truly worth loving. And, she'd thought…he'd loved her, too. She tries summoning up one of her memories in which her beloved is smiling, but now can only see the fury smoldering in his crimson eyes as he once again wounds her with words. _"Leave me alone!"_

"Leave me alone."

I forgot the feel of sunshine upon my skin…

One paw is tucked over her nose as she curls up even tighter, the rain suddenly falling hail-stone hard outside. "Go away. Leave me alone."

And as I try to think the clouds return again…

Another howl, this one much, much closer, concerned, searching. Giving in, she lifts her head and howls back, a heart-broken near-wail that tells her cousin she's really not in the mood to see anyone right now. Not that any of her family has ever left her alone when she's crying. Within moments, a dark, sopping wet head pokes through the mini-cataract, golden eyes glowing in concern.

She doesn't even give him a tail-wag in greeting, which makes his ears droop as he whuffs at her concernedly. In the language of wolves, no real word needs to be spoken. Kohaku whines back, scrunching tighter as Far-singer squeezes in to lie beside her, his muzzle resting across her shoulders, the rest of him curling around her to share warmth.

_Call my name…_

"So bad, little star-singer?" the charcoal-brindle asks after a while, in which the two do nothing but lie there and warming up. He'd given her the name after he'd learned that the glitter she almost always wears looks like stardust in any light and for the fact that back home, she's the lead singer for the band created by her friends and herself, called Pocky America.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"So bad." A gentle lick to her damp ear as they fall silent again, watching Kohaku's storm weep for her.

Can't see through the curtain of drowning rain…

Far-singer frets as he comforts his young cousin with his (hopefully) solid, reassuring presence. Her fur steams from body-heat, but she still shivers against him. Not good. Whatever happened to hurt her heart so, she's worried herself sick over it. At least she sleeps now, that tightness of her body loosening somewhat as the small cavelet warms.

Frozen lips and fingers and frozen pain…

"Kohaaaku! You crazy wolf, where _are_ you?" The grey wolf's concern grows when his cousin doesn't even so much as twitch at the voice less than twenty feet away and getting closer. When a shadow darker than the rain-soaked night approaches the curtain of water, Far-singer lets a warning growl bubble from between his bared fangs, but blinks and silences himself when a familiar mirror-bright katana parts the water to hover just in front of his nose.

A piece of cloak diverts the flow over an arm and away from the cavelet, a pair of anxious but annoyed crimson eyes peering in underneath it. "Thank the fire god, you found her."

"No thanks to you," Far-singer growls quietly so as not to wake the female sleeping like the dead beside him. "Whatever brought her here no doubt had something to do with _you_."

"And nothing to do with you!" Hiei retorts back, his black spiky hair flattened beneath a hood so that you couldn't even see his white-edged star-mark spangling the darkness. His crimson eyes burn hot with anger again that vanishes when Kohaku whines in her sleep. "…Kohaku?"

Call my name…

"She cried herself sick," Far-singer murmurs, barely audible over the downpour, his golden eyes worried. "Whatever your transgressions, they must wait. Your warmth is needed to get her to our den. I am a rain-caller, yes, but Healing is not among my talents."

Silently Hiei wraps his cloak around the chocolate-brindle body and lifts her easily into the open space, waiting as Far-singer extracts himself to whine mournfully as the cold water once again soaks into his fur. Charcoal ears flick forward before the wolf takes off in that famous ground-eating run with the fire apparition close on his heels. All around them, the skies keep on crying.

Sweet drowning rain…

……………………….

Kohaku wakes to a headache reminiscent of the one time she's ever been drunk in her life, her eyes gritty as though filled with beach-sand. She hears a faint chuckle off to her left, the young wolf managing to crack open one eye to look. Far-singer sits by her elbow in a full Lotus, his furry ears tilting different directions.

"Ah, and the little star-singer awakens. Feel any better, Kohaku?"

The world comes crashing in. In a voice choked with sobs she whispers, "Not really."

"What?" The word, spoken in a familiar, demanding voice, comes from just beyond her limited vision. Terrified, she disappears under her blanket at the sound of approaching footsteps. "I thought you said they'd gotten rid of that fever! Do I have to do _everything_ myself, or do your healers actually know what they're doing?"

"Do I note concern, Jaganshi?" her cousin prods in the aggravating voice he's perfected; the one where he sounds utterly sincere but you just _know_ he isn't serious. "It seems to be you are the reason she became ill in the first place."

Some tiny crumb of satisfaction pushes at her sorrow when Hiei starts spluttering, clearly trying to come up with a proper retort to that that doesn't damage his pride or prove Far-singer's point. He's reduced to his trademark 'hn!' spoken in a tone of sheer exasperation. A few moments of silence, then, "Out. This isn't for your ears."

"As you wish, but if my cousin makes the sky weep for her again you'll have a large number of us to deal with," the charcoal-brindle warns pleasantly, a rustling of fabric and light footsteps indicating his exit. Kohaku stays hidden beneath the heavy fur blanket, refusing to face _him_ again. She just can't bring herself to.

Surprise breaks through her shell of grief when there comes no sound of angry shouting. Instead, she hears a heavy sigh and the thud of a body carelessly dropping to the stone floor. "Kohaku," that voice says in a quiet, unhappy tone, "I'm sorry."

Peridot eyes peek over the edge of her blanket, wide with shock. "Say that again?"

Hiei gazes at her with exasperation, dark circles visible beneath the crimson eyes. "I said I'm sorry, Kohaku. I was, and I do not admit this lightly, an idiot."

One hand emerges to reach out, one fingertip touching the bare hand close to her waist. "Are you sure you're okay? You don't have a fever or anything."

"Damn it, Kohaku! I'm _trying_ to apologize! Can you be serious for just one bloody minute?" Cursing follows her as she bolts in reflex, in no mood to hear hateful words flung at her again. She gets about as far as the entrance to Far-singer's den when a heavy weight bowls her over, instinct sending her teeth into an arm flung up to protect the vulnerable throat.

She bites down hard, growls telling her tormentor just how high-strung she is at the moment. "Get off me, now."

"Not until you listen!" Eyes the color of the blood running down her chin pin her with a fierce gaze over the black-clad arm. "You don't get to leave until I say what I need to say!"

"What?" she challenges, spitting out his arm and flinging her head up, eyes glowing molten bronze. "Tell me I'm useless again? That I'm some weak little idiot that constantly needs saving? Let me tell you something, Hiei Jaganshi! Only _once_ have I _ever_ asked you to help me, and that was a life-or-death situation for the fucking both of us! Every other time has been your choice, and your choice alone!" Anger sends her hips bucking in an attempt to throw the gaping fire apparition off so she can run again. "Now get off before I finish ripping your arm to shreds!"

Lightning cracks just a few feet beyond the entrance, brought by her fury and desire to flee, but the wave of electricity is contained by the other knowing wolves outside. Hiei doesn't even flinch, just like he hadn't flinched when she'd bit him. He has her legs trapped underneath him, his own curled beneath hers to prevent her from actually bucking him off. The hand not attached to the bitten arm has one of her own wrists in an adamantium grip-screw steel, both of these people could snap that metal without thought.

"Go ahead if you want to. It's nothing less than what I deserve," he tells her quietly, his burning anger doused as quickly as it had flared. She stops squirming, curious despite herself as to what this male is about to tell her. Because she can sense more words trapped behind his lips, waiting to be said. "I was well and truly an idiot, Kohaku. You didn't deserve such treatment, least of all from me, and you have every right to rip into me any way you damn well please."

A deep breath. "I am very, truly, deeply sorry for calling you all those things that I did, and for the accusations I misplaced on you. The bitching comment was meant for Yusuke and the idiot-it got mixed in with the rest when I lost my temper. You are not useless, you are not weak, and you are not an idiot. I still say you're careless sometimes-but then again, so am I. I proved that four days ago when I forced you away from me."

"…Four _days_?"

Hiei almost face-faults, before gently-gently-reprimanding her. "You spent over six hours wandering around in icy rain with no protection, then went to sleep soaking wet. You caught _pneumonia_, wolf-girl. I got my ears pinned back by every single healer in both tribes, who _specifically_ showed up even after they chucked you into the healing trance you refused to initiate yourself just for that sole purpose. The one person I had yet to hear from was you," his lips curve in the faintest of self-mocking smiles, "though I doubt you're quite finished yet."

"…Oh."

"Kohaku, none of those was meant for you. They were all things I've been calling myself because I can't face certain people. When you starting talking about those people, I just got so angry with all the voices in my head telling me things I've known for years. I am the weak one. I am the fool. I can't even _apologize_ to you properly without blowing up at you because I can rarely bring myself to say a few simple words. Everyone else can get along with others so much easier than I can; they're smarter, stronger, better than me. I'm a murderer, there's nothing good about me."

Kohaku stares as the last few layers that she'd been trying for the last few months to gingerly peel away collapse, the normally-stoic fire apparition shattering them himself in an as-good-as-public confession. There's no way someone outside won't be hearing this. A faint ping sound distracts her and she watches several black-and-crimson little round gems go bouncing past her. Hiei is…crying?

"I thought for sure I'd lost you again, that this time I'd driven you away and you'd never come back and it would be all my fault because I'm stupid and worthless and don't deserve anyone no one wants a Forbidden Child why would they all I am is grief!" Serious alarm begins to replace anger and pain as Hiei actually takes a page from her own book, babbling on without even bothering to breathe. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't go away! Please!"

He comes very close to simply collapsing on her, exhausted from his own search for her and for the four-day sleepless vigil afterwards, despite numerous assurances that her health would be perfect again very soon. After Kohaku had been Healed it hadn't been her physical health that had gnawed away at his own mind, it had been the state of her emotions. He doesn't even notice when she blinks at him, a sigh of relief easing from her lungs.

"Hiei?" she says in a meek voice, determined to knock him out of this funk even if it gets him mad at her again. He looks up sharply, eyes widening at the sight of the tiny sheepish grin curving her mouth.

"Yes?"

"I can't feel my legs."

Laughter breaks out from several throats outside Far-singer's den, a red-faced Hiei getting off the wolf trying very hard not to join them-though her laughter is bubbling from a well of deep relief-and helping her to rise. He doesn't seem to remember that his arm is bleeding from the two perfect semi-circles that are her teeth-marks. "Sorry."

She takes a chance and cradles his face with her hands, searching his eyes with her own. She finds exhaustion, pain, and the tiny glimmerings of hope shining near the bottoms of those ruby red eyes. "Which is true, Hiei; do you not mind rescuing me whether I ask for aid or not, or are you tired of saving a careless, stupid wolf?"

His response is immediate. "You are-or were-mine. No one hurts someone I care about and gets away with it. No one. Even if they don't care about me back. I have never, ever regretted or disliked helping you."

Her eyes lighten to a pastel yellow-green as she smiles wistfully. "Baka fluffy-fur." She rests her forehead against his, mindful of his Jagan, and lets her arms creep around his shoulders. He stiffens for less than a second before he's hugging her back fiercely, shifting so that his face is buried in the hollow of her shoulder. "When did I ever say that I didn't care back?"

A relieved mumble, indiscernible as he's speaking into her shirt, is the only answer for a moment before he lifts his head just enough for her to spot a half-closed eye as he mumbles, "I'm so tired, Kohaku." Then a more hopeful, slightly clearer, "Does this mean you can forgive me?"

His head slumps back down, a purr beginning to vibrate his chest as his beloved slowly starts ruffling the hair/fur on the back of his neck. "You can consider yourself fully forgiven after three full karaoke songs and a real dye-job."

A slight twitch. "What color?"

"Blue."

He relaxes. "You always color my hair that."

"Bright, neon, electric sports-drink blue. And it has to stay that way for at least a week."

"No chance in-" She starts scratching the hair behind his ears, grinning happily as he melts in response. He doesn't hate her. He even chased her down to over-do an apology to _prove_ that he still wants her to be with him. "-murrrr. Fine. Two days."

"Four, or I make it pink."

"Three, black streaks."

"Deal." She turns him around and walks him to the bedding she had been occupying only a few minutes ago. "Now go to sleep, Hiei-koi. We'll head back to Ningenkai when you wake up."

He fights off sleep, grabbing at her sleeve as she tucks the furs under his chin. "You won't go away, right? You'll stay here with me?"

"I won't go anywhere, Hiei. For as long as you want me, I'll always be right here. I promise."

The crimson eyes drift shut, and he falls asleep with her sleeve still trapped in his fingers as another lesson he'd learned from the Thief-King Ikazuchi-Kohaku's uncle-echoes in his mind, the distant feeling of water washing away the bite-wound. _"A wolf's word is as true as their loyalty. There is no vow like a wolf's vow. And vows made in love are the most lasting of all."_

He can live with that.


End file.
